it's 3 am in the morning and i just need to let this out. as much as i want to fall in love with my job, it can't be done. i use to say that i can do it. and i am doing it. but for how long??? they say that we're earning more than other people. but do i need that much? i'm not that much a spender actually. not even with my addiction to kpop. i can control my spending habits. sometimes i really think that the money isn't worth it. it isn't worth the sadness i feel. yes, i'm quite sad and frustrated with my job. honestly, i'll probably last only for four months until the 20 thousand bond is finally over.
don't get me wrong, i know what i signed up for. and the job is no joke. but i can definitely cope but the elements attach to this job makes me realize that it's either them or i who first give up. i'm just being honest with myself. i'm trying to make this work. have a job and still keep MY LIFE. i won't let this job take over of who i really am. i miss a lot of things, especially a lot of people. i miss my family and the only way for me to maintain my connection is to at least wake up an hour earlier than my needed time to prepare to go to work. same thing with my girls. i have to wake up earlier and i don't blame my friends for it. i blame my schedule. it's the time frame that is very frustrating. the constant changes of schedules and day off rips you off the chance to do something else with your life.
i really don't get who made the schedule in this industry to be to inconstant. no wonder a lot of people with give this up for a meager job. i have thoughts about that. every time i would come in i would look at the receptionist and envy her. she's just sitting there doing some little secretarial jobs still she get the same benefits just with lesser salary. if her salary is minimum i'll take it! i used to work in makati for a minimum salary and always spend 50% of it just for fare! imagine i was able to survive for 4 months on that! and i was even able to buy myself some stuff like my BB photo book.
i know that no job is easy. stress will always be around it, it's part of it! but just put it this way, i won't do this for a long time. no one will. everyone is expecting to move on and i just hope the time i need will be short or better. i'm not expecting much! no expectations regarding me reaching the metrics in time. i don't want an added pressure.
don't get me wrong, i know what i signed up for. and the job is no joke. but i can definitely cope but the elements attach to this job makes me realize that it's either them or i who first give up. i'm just being honest with myself. i'm trying to make this work. have a job and still keep MY LIFE. i won't let this job take over of who i really am. i miss a lot of things, especially a lot of people. i miss my family and the only way for me to maintain my connection is to at least wake up an hour earlier than my needed time to prepare to go to work. same thing with my girls. i have to wake up earlier and i don't blame my friends for it. i blame my schedule. it's the time frame that is very frustrating. the constant changes of schedules and day off rips you off the chance to do something else with your life.
i really don't get who made the schedule in this industry to be to inconstant. no wonder a lot of people with give this up for a meager job. i have thoughts about that. every time i would come in i would look at the receptionist and envy her. she's just sitting there doing some little secretarial jobs still she get the same benefits just with lesser salary. if her salary is minimum i'll take it! i used to work in makati for a minimum salary and always spend 50% of it just for fare! imagine i was able to survive for 4 months on that! and i was even able to buy myself some stuff like my BB photo book.
i know that no job is easy. stress will always be around it, it's part of it! but just put it this way, i won't do this for a long time. no one will. everyone is expecting to move on and i just hope the time i need will be short or better. i'm not expecting much! no expectations regarding me reaching the metrics in time. i don't want an added pressure.
